The Blond Child And The Black Man...

Yesterday after going to do some shopping with the boyfriend (we bought pizza ingredients, red wine, wine glasses and had an Italian night) we came home from town on the bus. Tom was sat facing forwards and i was sat opposite facing backwards. Behind tom sat a black man, must have been about 40, he looked quite friendly but serious. Behind this man sat a small blond girl. She was very cute, had huge blue eyes and long blond hair, i later found out that she was 4 years old. She seemed very intelligent for a 4year old, she was chatting away to this man, and he was chatting away to her, as if they had known each other for years, all her life most likely. He seemed just like a father figure to her as they argued about whether or not it was still raining outside, arguing about their ages and various childish banter. I thought maybe he had adopted her or something, they got along so well, just like father and daughter, or an uncle and niece. Anyway after about 10 mins the man rang the bell on the bus, got up and walked off, leaving the little girl at the back of the bus. Both me and tom were a little shocked and laughed to each other about how they sounded like they had known each other for years.
next thing we knew, the little blond girl was asking me to move my shopping bags from the seat beside me and was climbing up onto the chair to sit with us. It was one of those moments me and tom looked at each other and could tell we were both thinking the same thing, who the hell is this kid and where is her parents?! The tiny girl introduced herself to me, told me her name and age, informed me where she had to get off the bus, she told me about her day at school and how another child in her class had pinched her on the arm so she had told the teacher. This kid had clearly never been taught not to talk to strangers. Finally when it got to her stop her mum shouted to her from the front of the bus and she said goodbye and left. Me and Tom were astounded.

My Cat Is Amazing, He Can Play The Guitar...

So i finally have my kitty. He is bloody adorable. Everything you would want in a tiny cat. He is mischievous (which suits him down to the ground as his name is Loki, - Norse God of Mischief) He is tiny and so pretty he has these beautiful makings on him and the most beautiful eyes. He sleeps in the bed with me and tom, curled up between us both. He nestles into my hair and he purs and talks. Oh dear i love this little squish way too much. Tom loves him too, which is really great :) Loki is like our little baby. Tonight is the first night i will be spending in my own bed all alone in quite some time =/ i miss Tom and Loki already. I just txt Tom to see how they are doing, he informed me that they are ok and fell asleep together on the kitchen floor. That is really cute.

Today i am feeling a little worse for wear. Its for the best that i am spending the night in my own house. A few things happened last night which i wouldn't like to go into again merely because i don't want to think the words that were said to me ever again. Safe to say i lost alot of respect for someone close to me and my memories and pain was dragged up and thrown in my face like i deserved to feel as much pain as it caused me.

I'm paranoid again. I need to get confident in myself. But damn that is difficult when you've been taken for a mug so many times. Who's to say it wont happen again? erghh.
never mind, i have my lovely little cat. I get to spend more time with tom I'm hoping that's a good thing. I hope he really does take me to Lincoln for Christmas.

I want kittie snuggles. =^.^=

Things of which i am addicted to.

Nicotine.Facebook.
My Phone.And now....?
BLOGGING.

GOD DAMN YOU WORLD OF BLOGGER! If i am awake at night and dont have access to my laptop i get so damn edgy. When im walking down the street or sat on the bus or a train and i think of something that amuses me or something i want to remember or see something weird or wonderful in a shope all i wish to myself is that i had blogger so i could write it down right then and there. I am addicted. I think about blogging all day long. But when it comes down to it, i dont really have much to say. I am annoyed at myself.

So whats on my mind at the moment?

The dog is stabbing me in the ass with her feet, when she looks at me with those big brown eyes and stretches i think she is doing it on perpose

I feel like ive ben living at my boyfriends house too much and im pissing him off. however he does give me mixed messages when he says things to me like "when are you gonna move your stuff in then?" and "when are we getting this kitten then?"

my ex is always bloody talking to me. i dont mind because its nice to have some conversation and we have always got along really well, always comfortable to talk to him, but sometimes he says things which implies that he is just looking for a conversation to wank over. this makes me so uncomfortable :(

i really really need to clean my guinea pigs out, and my fish, and get my fish a new light.

 oooooh ooooooooh gettting a ginger kitty on saterday hopefully. Im well excited but he will be living at my boyfins house and i wont be there all the time to look after him =/ i hope tom and radburn dont start hating him and want to get rid of him because i cant have him live at my house.

my mother just informed me that her head is falling off. i recomend she goes to bed and sleep it off.

What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours.

Yesterday seemed again to be one of the worst days I've had in a while.
Everything was against me. My luck, my sanity, my fella and it was bloody freezing. My clumsiness isn't getting any better either. My itunes has deleted half of my music and the Internet is being so slow. Its OK, these are only small things. But anyway i was in a fairly shitty mood yesterday right up until about 1am. After falling out with the boyfriend over some random crap i decided to go over to cov and see him. He let me in without a word and went up to bed. We were awkward and silent for an hour or so and i was fairly upset, as i had brought with me a fair bit of money for him to help him sort out some debt. Anyway this morning was finally better. We woke up happy and cuddling. Woke Radburn up as i was a little noisy... =P then we got up and walked to the laundrette, did some washing, a little shopping for things around the house, bought some chips and lay in bed munching the chips. This is a good day for me :) i enjoyed it thoroughly. Me and radburn had a fight with foamy the wibbler and the fish slice again. Last time we did that we were pissed, turned all the lights off in the house, put on sunglasses and ran around the kitchen beating eachother up. That night ended up with radburn stood in the girls cubicle of the oak taking a piss whilst i attempted to do a line of coke before tiny the bouncer kicked us out. Then a coked up journey to rileys which we broke in through the back as it was about 5am on a Sunday hahaha.

We are getting a kitten on Saturday. I really cant wait. Ive fished out loads of old stuff like litter and a litter tray, some cat food, a blanket and pillow ect. I'm so excited XD

Kelly and her fat bum have left work. She was most likely sick of doing the floor all the time. Its OK, we have a new girl. I say girl she is older but her bum ain't so huge so its all cool. Vikki decided to tell me how her and her girlfriend spent £70 on a strap on. I love Vikki she makes me laugh and she is always happy and singing loud. She has an incredible voice. And whenever she is really getting into telling me something funny, she has a weird little eye twitch. This confuses yet amuses me no end.

My mum makes the best chow mien. Today is defiantly better than yesterday :)

I am feeling rather backwards.

I have an erge to cut myself a fringe and to watch star wars.

Seems im the luckiest girl in the world...

And i have come to this conclusion because i have been living with three amazing men - two of which happen to be two of my very best friends and the other whome i love with all my heart and snuggles me all night long. These three men LOVE to cook. Not only that, they are bloody fantastic at it. Two of them make a living from cooking. The other, well lets just say he likes his food.

So after watching a Disney film bout a mouse who is really good at cooking, and from living in a house full of men who love to cook, it would appear i want to learn how to do a bit of cooking of my own. My mum makes this amazing tomatoe paste stuff which i am making her show me how to do. And for some obscene reason (because its my least favorite meal in the whole world) i would love to learn how to cook a sunday roast. Just so that i could do a lovely meal for my boys.

This isnt like me in the slightest. I dont get all nesty and broody or whatever the phrase is that im looking for.

i need a nap.

A Thought Whilst Taking A Shower...

Do we have noses that are shaped the way they are, so that if we are stood in the shower and looked up, we wouldnt get water going into our brains?

I just cant switch off.

I feel like i have a lot to blog about today. Although i really don't have much to say at all. I just feel the need to get things down, maybe so i have something to look at in the future, or maybe just to try and empty my head of thoughts before attempting to fall asleep.
I find it difficult falling asleep. Theres always too much on my mind. nothing of particular importance, i just find it difficult to switch off. How do you turn that internal monologue off??

So here are some sleepy scribbles as its 2am and im fairly knackered.

*Kelly left us in the shit at work today. i knew she was getting sick of doing that damn floor. haha well at least we were way too busy for either me or Marie to get round to doing it. thank god. i escaped the dreaded floor once again. I'm becoming a pro at this.*

*my sister has cut all her hair off. it looks quite cute unless she doesn't stile it. then it looks a bit boyish and a little like a mullet. still i think it suites her when she puts an Alice band in.*

*i miss Claudia rather a lot. my good old German buddy who never ceases to amaze me at how she can always put a smile on my face. we have so much fun when we are together. the two weeks she spent at mine where the best ever. i would almost say i felt like i had a sister but that's well out of order. my sister is a great sister. annoying. devilishly cute. loud. sister like i mean when Claudia was here it was like i had a very best friend.*

*Ive eaten a lot of scampi today. maria noticed too. every time i had to cook a scampi meal i would purposely put way too many scampi on a plate so that there were some left over that i could sneak later.

maria noticed me doing this and started doing it too and informed me that she had saved me some scampi's in the chip tray. <3 what a legend. i feel like i might turn into a cat any day now. with all this excitement of getting a new kitten at the boyfriends house. i want to be a kittys mummy again =^.^= *

*im really quite missingeveryone from college. both collages. the butts and solihull. going to the butts was a great experience. i got zero work done, smoked way too much weed with my friends and basically got away with murder (and setting a room on fire) before getting kicked off the course not once but twice. idiots shouldnt have let me come back really haha!! and i miss solihull because despite it all i made some really awsome friends like shiv, reece, lauren and all them lot, and i did get on wth alot of the work, it was interesting i fucking loved biology oh man i miss it :(*

*really wanna go play assassins creed. im a little bit hooked on this game now. its fit. tom got me rainbow 6 vagas 2 for my late birthday. but i dont like playing it on my own. assassins creed reminds me of staying at callums old house in bournmouth becuase i remember falling asleep on his sofa while he was playing it and all i couldhere were those funny accents "BASTARDO" in my sleep. it also reminds me of simon burdette because he would play it and make songs up "smoke bomb hidden blade hidden blade hidden blade" ect.

*im really quite pissed off about liann black. not only does she prevent me from seeing my best friend she alot chats alot of shit to me about things that she has either made up in her crazy little head, or things she knows nothing about. the girl needs a good slap and to be put in her place. i HATE her.

well im well and truely sleepy now so time to sign out, go for a ciggerette and go to bed i think. hopefully my mind will be a little more empty of this garbage now that its on here. hopfully i will sleep better. goodnight blogger. thankyou for letting me take my crap out on you :) 

Quotation.

“When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.”

― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

Just An Update Of The Last Couple Of Days...

Ive had quite a busy weekend. moving my bf and my friends houses into one house. its about time. theres been alot of pressure put on my relationship since my bf lost his house, mainly because he works a hell of a lot and its been difficult to stay with him while he has been sofa surfing for the last 9 months. so anyway Friday we started the move. it was quite successful. managed to get pretty much everything from his storage into the house and all Radburns stuff into the house too. that night we had a little house party. tom had been stressing about this for a couple of days as the new house isn't that big and there had been alot of people invited. it went well. not so many people showed up but still enough people for it to be a great night. everyone got thoroughly smashed. i took mdma and quite enjoyed the experience. not as much as i would of at a younger age though i recon. i think I'm getting to old for drugs now. that was more my kinda thing at 15/16. anyway nothing went wrong and despite being quite trashed me and tom didn't argue all night in fact we had a few secret moments together and shared a few private jokes, which is exactly the kind of thing i love.
the following morning was mental having to clean up but it wasn't too bad really. me and tom managed quite well clearing the place and then starting to unpack all his stuff.

omg just been well distracted by pixi lott on the tv NOM

Anyhow yeah just been unpacking pretty much all weekend and playing various games consoles with brad. and falling asleep next to the Mr in his own bed again, which has been a great change :) they are letting me get a cat at the house, and tom wants a dog. its all rather exciting :) yesterday work was standard. theres this man that keeps coming in and giving me the eye. he looks quite geeky only he has a skin head and tattoos. every time he comes in he progresses on how much he will talk to me. its quite embarrassing. I've still managed to keep out of doing the floor. inevitably it will have to happen soon. i think I've done it all of about 3 times at most. currently Kelly is doing it 3 times a week and is starting to moan about it. however she has said she is going back on a diet so hopefully she will appreciate the exercise lmao. she has such a huge bum but she doesn't need to go on a diet. considering she has had two kids she has a surprisingly nice figure. just that ass is gigantic. and she always wears leggings which go see through when they are stretched. sometimes when i bend down to pick up a plate her ass gets right in my face and i can tell what colour pants she is wearing. this disturbs me. my belly hurts, and I'm very sleepy recently. yesterday i found a nice sunny spot on the end of toms bed so i curled up for a nap. i felt like a kittycat  =^.^=  <3

the summer weather has gone again. the last couple of weeks has been quite nice and sunny. in fact the last weekend of September i got a suntan. it was great. but now i feel like its time to get a winter coat and gloves and thick socks and a hat. not like me. I'm usually in tshirts in winter. i wouldn't say its winter yet anyway. just autumn. theres lots of conkers :)

I can go from soppy to bitch in mere seconds.

Most the time i can feel it coming on too, being a hormonal female. Something men go on about not being able to understand. What they dont know is us girls dont quite understand it either. We can feel it coming on, because we go from normal to mentally fucking insane in a matter of a day or so. We get upset and angry for what seems like absolutely no fucking reason what so ever. Theres usually a reason for it though. Could be the most tiniest thing in the whole world. My problem is sometimes when im in this state, if there is nothing to get upset or angry over, i often create a problem so that i feel justified for this mental emotional blow out.
And this doesnt always happen just once a month when my hormones are flying all over the place.
Sometimes i wonder if im a manic depressive or still suffering from teenage angst that hasnt learnt to do one yet.
Ive been this way since i can remember, i dont remember hitting thirteen and life going POW your a teenager now, time to get mentally screwed up. Its just always been there.

Things that increase my bad moods 100000fold. -
Being ignored.
Being on my own.
Being hungry.
Falling asleep next to someone without getting spoons.
Sad but true.